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Normal Human.

I wanna be normal human being again. somehow i tired of trying. Maybe it was mean to be like this. But why everything end up hitting me instantly.

Band camp

Fall.

It takes too much to handle the love that i had given away .
Scrafices that i made to love you for infinity.
Stupid stupid stupid.
I love you like you're my last and no other human even existed.
I don't look in human's eyes like i see you.
I fall for you idiot.
But why can't you give me the same treat?
Why can't you appreciate?
and look at my eyes like no other.
Look at me.
Deep into my eyes.
What had you done?
You've done something crime and mean.
It takes a killer pain strikes in my heart
and life.
It hurtts so bad.
Until i can't even fall anymore.
Its like i don't have my heart with me.
Because you took it away from me.
I fall hard for you.
i'm not regretting, but wondering.

Proposal

I wonder .. how it feels like to get propose by someone you love. I bet its beautiful isn't it? Those vow to love till the end. Promises that need to be kept forever. Those things to do with someone you really love. That's what i imagine when i'm with you. Promise to take a good care of you, no matter what happens which is verryyyy impossible for us to be back again. just imagining love life which i didn't get to feel those butterflies in my tummy. Obviously it hurts to see people falling in love, but not me. But i guess its not the right time to fall again, because i must focus for my Spm examination. Once you fall, its like consider sold! Its hard to recover, like what i'm suffering now. Beautiful indeed but the pain lasts forever. So i try to be alone until i reach to College life.

Went Missing.

I'm back! Went missing for shortwhile after the band camp. Gah, talking about band camp makes me miss those moments. :c but the trauma still had in me, i just can't get rid of it. which i don't even know why .. scratch that, there's an event coming up this december. check the next blog to stay tune. haha. winks*

Once i whisper to your ears that ' i love you ' . That means i really do.

Summer Band Camp.

It had been the best Summer camp ever, even though the training was way killing.
Supposed to be back home at the 14th but there's some difficulities happened
which 6 people were effected until the last day had been cancel off by the
principle. It was somehow like a 3D live Paranormal activity for me.
which i don't watch those kind of movies happen in front of my bare eyes.
I'll be back to 'that' story later ..

Anyways i'm getting skinnier, which everytime i smile my teeth turn out to be so weird.
Plus, my smile also getting weirder. i guess it is because of me getting skinnier and darker. -,-'
no more cute smile T.T
Somehow i miss band camp already. sigh* why must it ends so fast? :(


Bigger aim, bigger pain. That's just how we do it, No Pain, No Gain. MGSSB

DOT♥ 

Another Heart Calls.

I'm throwing myself in front of you
This could be the last mistake
That I would ever wanna do
Yeah all I ever do is give
it's time you see my point of view

Just as soon as I see you
I did lie but didn't I tell you?
As deep as I need you,
You wanna leave it all

Comma

I told my friends that i have moved on, i told them i have forgotten all about you and i have no feelings for you at all but everything that i told them wasn't true. After all this time i was just pretending and there hasn't been a day that i stopped thinking about you. It's always you on my mind and it hurts. I really miss you but i'm afraid to make a call because maybe i would be a bother. It scares me to think that you don't wanna talk to me anymore as i've become a completely stranger to you. A year passed and your 1st Anniversary is coming up. Its also sad to think that it wasn't me that you'll celebrate with .. Apart from that, it will also be a year for us that we're not together anymore.
The changes around make me feel lost. Sometimes i stare at the sky and talking alone like an idiot wishing you're the star. Imagining you're the star and i'm talking to you which you were the brightest star in the sky who used to shine my day and night.
My feelings for you have always been real and special because the word "special" is just who you are to me. Eventhough you're completely went missing and far from my sight,
but still you're there in those shadows and dreams. how i really wish those fake illusion are true. Those haunts every second my life when YOU gave me the biggest impact of my life and the biggest lost for me until everything turns into a heartless dust.
"I love you still and always will" .. That's just fake words coming out from your lips which at the end of the day you walk away and left me completely nothing but a knife in my heart. Maybe that was the exact meaning of that word. I know that we would come to the end one day but there will always a good way to find instead of hurting and killing people inside. Meeting you at the hall on the first day we met wasn't just a coincidence, it was faith who bring us together. and how i wish i have a time machine to repeat that moment back to where we called it as Lovebirds again.

I know things won't be that way, but maybe in another life i get to ask what i want and if that happens my answer would be you.

I never gave up on you, never .. Its you never fight for me at all instead of leaving me in pieces

Cracking dawn.

Ola! I'm back plus i'm still awake. Supposed to be sleeping right now but i guess i should update a short blog for a minute. hehe. Things are getting busy and busi-er. I just got my form5 books today, i only get 17 books for today which there'll be 8 books additional. so total for my form5 teks books will be 25. lol. and i got my holiday assignments just now too. it was damn thick, i'm afraid that i can't able to finish it. Hopefully i get to finish it on time, insyaAllah. Besides being busy in the class, i have to attend meetings for AJK band and whole band meeting. I have to wake up early in the morning tomorrow, need
to attend for band. A few more days to Camp, heee. I can't wait and i can't
stop thinking about what luggage am i gonna bring. hahaha.
there's too much to bring, band overcoat & overall, training tees, pyjamas and more.
Hopefully everything will went very well, Amin.
OH! not to forget, to SPM 2012 candidates i would like to say goodluck to you guys
and don't ever give up once you'll face those papers because this result will
bring us to the future and our career ;)

Good mornight, Assalamualaikum.

To be continued..

" Sometimes it doesn't matter how painful or how difficult the journey is,
   If you believe in someone or something, You should follow your HEART,
   and never hold yourself back " - IAN EASTWOOD