I have to accept the fact that i'm lonely. Eventually no one finds me as in they needed me. They only need me when they're at their worst or maybe they're having their hot stories to share. I can see myself never was important which i end up alone at the end. 
Like no one bother to care or to ask about 'have you eaten?' 'are you okay' ..
why can't i just i have life that i crave for. Best buddies hangout every weekend, window shopping together, dinner together, study together. I used to have that kind of buddies .. but that was a few years ago. I have to get used to it to LONELY life. Where i will end up dying alone in my own grave eventually. So .. cheerish to LONELY life