OMG, i found this picture like i can cry. :'(
I miss this hallway and look there's someone looking for me.
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Absent.
I missed school for today .. felt a bit dissapointed for my recent result.
Everything went into a mess, totally . I wish i can have that life,
a proper one that someone arrange it for me. Like what time i sleep,
what time i eat, what time study and all. I admit i screw my results
in my PMR but i don't regret on the life that i had before.
I am happy that someone arrange my time for me and someone was
there for me to cheer me up.
I screwed my final, and i don't want to screw it anymore. I'm gonna accept my Dad's
challenge. I'll get whatever i want if i get to score, so be it.
As long as i get what i want and get to score for SPM.
If i get to score for my SPM, then i'm done staying here.
better be off and find a better life to seek.
Everything went into a mess, totally . I wish i can have that life,
a proper one that someone arrange it for me. Like what time i sleep,
what time i eat, what time study and all. I admit i screw my results
in my PMR but i don't regret on the life that i had before.
I am happy that someone arrange my time for me and someone was
there for me to cheer me up.
I screwed my final, and i don't want to screw it anymore. I'm gonna accept my Dad's
challenge. I'll get whatever i want if i get to score, so be it.
As long as i get what i want and get to score for SPM.
If i get to score for my SPM, then i'm done staying here.
better be off and find a better life to seek.
Monday, October 29, 2012
Timeline.
Timeline trending #PrimarySchoolMemories :')
I was ---> 40% nerd
5% Skater
5% Gamer
5% Naughty
35% BLUR
Standard 6 used to be a memorial year and a sad year where we have to go
to separate schools. Graduation night was like the best PROM ever.
where we got our own COUPLES to bring. I didn't bring anyone but my ex lover
was there and that's more than enough. haha. butttt, there's someone
who wore almost a couple suit as i am which was Nurvair Mikhail and we sat at the same table. hahahaha.
he's cute back then, now HANDSOME OK. Talking about my ex lover, he's
wearing braces now. lol.
K, that's out of topic. sorry. haha. memories :P
I don't have a picture when i was in Primary school. :/
sorry.
I was ---> 40% nerd
5% Skater
5% Gamer
5% Naughty
35% BLUR
Standard 6 used to be a memorial year and a sad year where we have to go
to separate schools. Graduation night was like the best PROM ever.
where we got our own COUPLES to bring. I didn't bring anyone but my ex lover
was there and that's more than enough. haha. butttt, there's someone
who wore almost a couple suit as i am which was Nurvair Mikhail and we sat at the same table. hahahaha.
he's cute back then, now HANDSOME OK. Talking about my ex lover, he's
wearing braces now. lol.
K, that's out of topic. sorry. haha. memories :P
I don't have a picture when i was in Primary school. :/
sorry.
Heartless.
I can't really feel what is in my heart anymore. I try to love, but i just can't.
I can only love when i say i like that someone and that someone likes me back.
Silly isn't it? I used to fall hard with someone until i end up being like this heartless ..
I barely know what love is, or how it felt.
I'm so sorry to those i push away .. i really am truly sorry.
I can only love when i say i like that someone and that someone likes me back.
Silly isn't it? I used to fall hard with someone until i end up being like this heartless ..
I barely know what love is, or how it felt.
I'm so sorry to those i push away .. i really am truly sorry.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Saturday, October 27, 2012
Azan sudah berkumandang. Its time for me to sleep! i have to wake up early tomorrow, baby sit my lil brothers. and my brother will be going back to college tomorrow. :c
back to normal days where i became the eldest .. sigh
so this is where this ends for today's blog. InsyaAllah there'll be more tomorrow and a day after or later. Goodmorning and Assalamualaikum. have a great day. x
back to normal days where i became the eldest .. sigh
so this is where this ends for today's blog. InsyaAllah there'll be more tomorrow and a day after or later. Goodmorning and Assalamualaikum. have a great day. x
5am.
I can't sleep. ITS SUNDAY ALREADY. Great! tomorrow school.
My eyes are turning red because been facing in front of the laptop for hours.
and i didn't even wear specs. great -,-'
btw good morning, and have a great sunday :)
My eyes are turning red because been facing in front of the laptop for hours.
and i didn't even wear specs. great -,-'
btw good morning, and have a great sunday :)
PLKN?
I head rumors about the upcoming batch must go for PLKN for 6 months? lol.
To be honest, i want to go to PLKN. It might get me killed for doing those things but
it is something which only happen once. so why don't give a shot right?
Wearing tudung and get black wouldn't be a problem for me because what i'm doing now it's
just the same except for the activities which is more interesting and more adventurous.
Drive at the age 21? Hell no. I can drive at the age of 15, i guess if this thing really happen next year i bet even kids can break those rule. haha. Drive at the age 17 was nothing, Government should really change the motorcyclist license at the age 17 not 16.
To be honest, i want to go to PLKN. It might get me killed for doing those things but
it is something which only happen once. so why don't give a shot right?
Wearing tudung and get black wouldn't be a problem for me because what i'm doing now it's
just the same except for the activities which is more interesting and more adventurous.
Drive at the age 21? Hell no. I can drive at the age of 15, i guess if this thing really happen next year i bet even kids can break those rule. haha. Drive at the age 17 was nothing, Government should really change the motorcyclist license at the age 17 not 16.
Sports day
After running. ze athletes x)
Preparing for the run, i'm just behind the teacher. where you can see the half of my face? hahah
Burning fats.
As much as i want to buy so many clothes, i need to get slimmer which i think i would because holiday is just around the corner. Like last year, i drop dead skinny. I spent my life sleeping and computer. which is happening right now. haha. I woke up at 12 noon, ate for lunch then lock myself in my room, Online till 5am or 6am. I don't eat dinner :/ I only eat breakfast or dinner when i felt there's a beating drum in my tummy. When i was in band trip in KL, i ate almost 5 TIMES A DAY. But still, i didn't get that much fats because i get sweat up since morning till midnight for band training. Carrying an instrument which weigh around 10kg on my shoulder seems like a work out muscles. LOL. Its somehow a Pain Killing way to gain a muscle, like carrying an instrument around 30 minute max or sometimes carry while walking around 5 kilometres. Early of this year, i played ze TUBA, which the mass is 18KG. That was the heaviest instrument among the brass. Sprained elbow is like normal injuries for me which i always spare a panaflex in my pocket ;)
err, this is so out of topic i guess?
I need to burn some fats this upcoming band camp! So i can wear those fancy fancy clothes. since Topshop don't really have big sizes or other brands. -,-'
err, this is so out of topic i guess?
I need to burn some fats this upcoming band camp! So i can wear those fancy fancy clothes. since Topshop don't really have big sizes or other brands. -,-'
DORM
To be honest, i wanted to be in a boarding school since primary kid.
I wanted to be St George's Girls School since primary because of my family generation.
My mum was ex georgian, my aunts and my cousins ..
and planning to be in a boarding after PMR which i applied Teknik Tunku Abdul Rahman, Pulau Pinang and a SBP school Sekolah Menengah Sains Selangor.
The moment i get my PMR results, i was kinda blur. I literally can't hear my results properly until my cousin Aqila had to hear it for me. It was heart broken moment where i can't achieve what i want. I play too many i guess? but i don't regret on what i did last year because I'm happy .. As long as i'm happy i have nothing to regret.
I'm aiming for higher achievements. which i had a career talk with my uncle who worked in Malaysia Airlines.
Well, my dad wants me to a pilot. When i was little, we always go the airport just to see an aeroplane to depart. Since being a Pilot must have a higher grade, my uncle suggest me an Aeronautical Engineering. Which is an Aircraft engineer. Aircraft engineer can still fly a plane and own one. *winks. hahaha.
I must get at least 5A's to be an Aeronautic. But of course i'm aiming for 10 A's.
If i stay nerd like this until next year, means its not impossible for me x)
haha.
I wanted to be St George's Girls School since primary because of my family generation.
My mum was ex georgian, my aunts and my cousins ..
and planning to be in a boarding after PMR which i applied Teknik Tunku Abdul Rahman, Pulau Pinang and a SBP school Sekolah Menengah Sains Selangor.
The moment i get my PMR results, i was kinda blur. I literally can't hear my results properly until my cousin Aqila had to hear it for me. It was heart broken moment where i can't achieve what i want. I play too many i guess? but i don't regret on what i did last year because I'm happy .. As long as i'm happy i have nothing to regret.
I'm aiming for higher achievements. which i had a career talk with my uncle who worked in Malaysia Airlines.
Well, my dad wants me to a pilot. When i was little, we always go the airport just to see an aeroplane to depart. Since being a Pilot must have a higher grade, my uncle suggest me an Aeronautical Engineering. Which is an Aircraft engineer. Aircraft engineer can still fly a plane and own one. *winks. hahaha.
I must get at least 5A's to be an Aeronautic. But of course i'm aiming for 10 A's.
If i stay nerd like this until next year, means its not impossible for me x)
haha.
Saturday.
I went to the mall just now, for groccery shopping. Wasn't planning to buy anything since there was only Rm30 in my wallet -,-' But i end up buying The Sims 2 pc game and hair cream. which cost Rm30 for both! Gosh. My money had gone!
Plus, i need to use that money to pay band fund. And now i only have a week to save, which another week will be band camp. Puasa la minggu ni. haihhhhhh.
Plus, i need to use that money to pay band fund. And now i only have a week to save, which another week will be band camp. Puasa la minggu ni. haihhhhhh.
Friday, October 26, 2012
\m/
My Future Bed room! Even though kinda its kinda boyish, but still its cool. with those amplifiers. omgg. hot okk? and Gibson electric guitar at the corner. <3 font="font">
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Schools.
D'Monte Kindergarten, Penang 2000-2003
Sekolah Kebangsaan Minden Height, Penang 2003-2008
Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Bukit Gambir, Penang (Only for a day)
Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Convent Green Lane, Penang 2009-2010
Sekolah Menengah St Francis Convent, Kota Kinabalu. 2010-2012
Methodist Girls Secondary School 2012- current
Minden Height was the best primary school ever. That school is now Kluster Kecemerlangan school, as ex student i'm so proud of it.
What i love the most about there - EVERYTHING.
--> I was in 1 Zamrud. I wore pinafore to school and RARELY comb my hair because my hair was so short. i PLAY ALL THE TIME. i can even remember those funny moments that i been through. During recess time, Liyana and I usually play in the school hall chasing boys and get beat up. hahahahaha. There was a day where Fathin took my bun, and i had to chase for her even though wearing a baju kurung. I end up fell into the ground and my face hit the cement. That bruise was such an embarassment. I cried so bad until there was this prefect brang me to the teacher's room to meet the Ustazah. lol.
There was also this one day, where everyone was rushing going back to school and that time was drizzling. I ran on a mud and end up fall into a mud until everyone laughed at me. i was close to Joel Goh until everyone tease me for liking him. hahahahah.
Standard 2 turn out to be so boring? until one day my grandma brang me to saloon and the aunty cut my hair VERY short LIKE a guy which i cried so hard because of that.
I end up wearing a cap to school because scared that people will laugh at me after they saw my hair. B)
Standard 3 was a remarkable year for me. I was one of Mr Teoh and Sir Nada's favorite student which i never fail them bringing them such a colourful results. I got 5th in my class which there was so many competitors. And there was this one day, i accidentaly threw an eraser into Azril's mouth until he choke it. :/
Standard 4 was a quite year. I turn out to be so so so quite and boring too.
Standard 5 was such a memoriable year for me .. I had my first love on that year.
ahahahaha. we even date a few times. We last almost a year, but i can't really remember how we end up. He's the cutest guy i had been with. I can still remember our songs, his phone number too to be exact! LOL.
Standard 6 WAS ZE BEST SENIOR YEAR! even though got seperated with a few friends because they got into a clever class and i got into second. heh. No love lifes that year but i enjoy most of my time with my GIRLFRIENDS. I was kinda nerd that time, bringing a big bottle to school carying it everywhere i go. haha. I was hoping to enter St George's Girls school when i was in Secondary. which i end up getting a Convent school for secondary because of my upsr results. :c and the rest of my friend went into Bestari school.
Secondary
Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Convent Green Lane
I get a school offer from SMK Bukit Gambir but i decided not to go there and go for a better school. So i only got there for a day. My aim is to go for St George's Girls School. but too bad, i didn't had the chance to go there because of my results. so i went to Convent Green Lane.
That was the first school that i get to enter as a ALL GIRLS school.
It was such an awkward moment for me at first because everyone in there was GIRLS.
Luckily there's a boys school next door. ahahah. Penang Free school and also McDONALDS<3 font="font">Mean while i get to mixed around with some new people, at the end i love that school so much. The school events was so fun. Paintball, Modeling, Battle of the Bands, Flying fox and many more. The one that i couldn't forget is entering an Aerobic. somehow its like a cheerleading except for those skirts. I have to hold poms-poms and dance. Not dance randomly. Its like a battle, the only song i remembered was Body Languange by Jesse Mccartney. hahahahah.
I had to move to Kota Kinabalu when i was in form2. It was already mid term and that moment of leaving your hometown is the worst feeling ever.
Sekolah Menengah St Francis Convent
Everything changed when i get into this school, i met different people with different cultures. I get to know many things. I love this school so much. even though this school is such a small school and had the smallest canteen. But still, that memories that i been through is such a GOLD. Love and Happiness that i felt there is priceless. More sweeter than Romeo & Juliet . I get to know awesome people that make me so mature today.
Form2 and Form3 was the best year i had .. I was a school netball player, a school filem maker. i was the girl that people know me as a 'Penang Girl' .
That was the only time that i get to know myself. Hanging out every weekend.
Make noise with friends, laugh all day. That's what people call a teenage life.
Sadly that happiness doesn't last until i had to move to Kuantan, Pahang.
That changed my life completely into a Dull person from people used to know me as a happy go lucky girl. The airport is the last place i get to say goodbye ..
Methodist Girls Secondary School
The first week i went there, i can't barely smile to anyone there because that sadness of missing the old school too much. I even sat at the orentation hall alone and also in the class. I got into a science stream class. with clever people surround me. I got myself into Marching Band because of the love for Music. I don't really care if i don't even have a friend to be with . I get myself a late recovery when i was in the band. i felt like a family. We even trained from Morning till midnight. Go for a trip together. Get to stand under the hot sun. Run a few rounds every morning. We do everything together. I get myself stress-free by doing all that. I do have friends after that, but it was only my close friends. And i'm glad i have one that gave me joy in the class. Even though deep inside i'm suffering for a heart recovery but at the outside i'm actually trying my best to be fine again.
In the mean time, i have something to achieve. I hope by changing me into a DULL person would pay all the achievements. Amin.
Sekolah Kebangsaan Minden Height, Penang 2003-2008
Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Bukit Gambir, Penang (Only for a day)
Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Convent Green Lane, Penang 2009-2010
Sekolah Menengah St Francis Convent, Kota Kinabalu. 2010-2012
Methodist Girls Secondary School 2012- current
Minden Height was the best primary school ever. That school is now Kluster Kecemerlangan school, as ex student i'm so proud of it.
What i love the most about there - EVERYTHING.
--> I was in 1 Zamrud. I wore pinafore to school and RARELY comb my hair because my hair was so short. i PLAY ALL THE TIME. i can even remember those funny moments that i been through. During recess time, Liyana and I usually play in the school hall chasing boys and get beat up. hahahahaha. There was a day where Fathin took my bun, and i had to chase for her even though wearing a baju kurung. I end up fell into the ground and my face hit the cement. That bruise was such an embarassment. I cried so bad until there was this prefect brang me to the teacher's room to meet the Ustazah. lol.
There was also this one day, where everyone was rushing going back to school and that time was drizzling. I ran on a mud and end up fall into a mud until everyone laughed at me. i was close to Joel Goh until everyone tease me for liking him. hahahahah.
Standard 2 turn out to be so boring? until one day my grandma brang me to saloon and the aunty cut my hair VERY short LIKE a guy which i cried so hard because of that.
I end up wearing a cap to school because scared that people will laugh at me after they saw my hair. B)
Standard 3 was a remarkable year for me. I was one of Mr Teoh and Sir Nada's favorite student which i never fail them bringing them such a colourful results. I got 5th in my class which there was so many competitors. And there was this one day, i accidentaly threw an eraser into Azril's mouth until he choke it. :/
Standard 4 was a quite year. I turn out to be so so so quite and boring too.
Standard 5 was such a memoriable year for me .. I had my first love on that year.
ahahahaha. we even date a few times. We last almost a year, but i can't really remember how we end up. He's the cutest guy i had been with. I can still remember our songs, his phone number too to be exact! LOL.
Standard 6 WAS ZE BEST SENIOR YEAR! even though got seperated with a few friends because they got into a clever class and i got into second. heh. No love lifes that year but i enjoy most of my time with my GIRLFRIENDS. I was kinda nerd that time, bringing a big bottle to school carying it everywhere i go. haha. I was hoping to enter St George's Girls school when i was in Secondary. which i end up getting a Convent school for secondary because of my upsr results. :c and the rest of my friend went into Bestari school.
Secondary
Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Convent Green Lane
I get a school offer from SMK Bukit Gambir but i decided not to go there and go for a better school. So i only got there for a day. My aim is to go for St George's Girls School. but too bad, i didn't had the chance to go there because of my results. so i went to Convent Green Lane.
That was the first school that i get to enter as a ALL GIRLS school.
It was such an awkward moment for me at first because everyone in there was GIRLS.
Luckily there's a boys school next door. ahahah. Penang Free school and also McDONALDS<3 font="font">Mean while i get to mixed around with some new people, at the end i love that school so much. The school events was so fun. Paintball, Modeling, Battle of the Bands, Flying fox and many more. The one that i couldn't forget is entering an Aerobic. somehow its like a cheerleading except for those skirts. I have to hold poms-poms and dance. Not dance randomly. Its like a battle, the only song i remembered was Body Languange by Jesse Mccartney. hahahahah.
I had to move to Kota Kinabalu when i was in form2. It was already mid term and that moment of leaving your hometown is the worst feeling ever.
Sekolah Menengah St Francis Convent
Everything changed when i get into this school, i met different people with different cultures. I get to know many things. I love this school so much. even though this school is such a small school and had the smallest canteen. But still, that memories that i been through is such a GOLD. Love and Happiness that i felt there is priceless. More sweeter than Romeo & Juliet . I get to know awesome people that make me so mature today.
Form2 and Form3 was the best year i had .. I was a school netball player, a school filem maker. i was the girl that people know me as a 'Penang Girl' .
That was the only time that i get to know myself. Hanging out every weekend.
Make noise with friends, laugh all day. That's what people call a teenage life.
Sadly that happiness doesn't last until i had to move to Kuantan, Pahang.
That changed my life completely into a Dull person from people used to know me as a happy go lucky girl. The airport is the last place i get to say goodbye ..
Methodist Girls Secondary School
The first week i went there, i can't barely smile to anyone there because that sadness of missing the old school too much. I even sat at the orentation hall alone and also in the class. I got into a science stream class. with clever people surround me. I got myself into Marching Band because of the love for Music. I don't really care if i don't even have a friend to be with . I get myself a late recovery when i was in the band. i felt like a family. We even trained from Morning till midnight. Go for a trip together. Get to stand under the hot sun. Run a few rounds every morning. We do everything together. I get myself stress-free by doing all that. I do have friends after that, but it was only my close friends. And i'm glad i have one that gave me joy in the class. Even though deep inside i'm suffering for a heart recovery but at the outside i'm actually trying my best to be fine again.
In the mean time, i have something to achieve. I hope by changing me into a DULL person would pay all the achievements. Amin.
You've been such an ispiration. You're damn rich. But hell, you're genius.
To use a few hundred thousands for you to go Oversea studies. IT WORTH IT!
How i wish i was exactly like you. Gah, pretty, clever, rich. Everything i want is with you.
LIFE so unfair! :(
We never officially met. I knew you from someone and somewhere . But still i'm glad knowing someone like you with such an inspiration for me.
People find myself very weird and lifeless cause they don't really know who i really was.
I can only be me when i find FUN and HAPPINESS around me. which i can't even find one.
So i better faking around, using fake smiles is like a daily routine for me.
I am rude sometimes but it wasn't really me. I become into a rude and mean person only when someone caught my nerves.
My parents look at me like i'm something bad for them while actually i'm way different at school. I will be rude IF someone be rude to me.
I can only be me when i find FUN and HAPPINESS around me. which i can't even find one.
So i better faking around, using fake smiles is like a daily routine for me.
I am rude sometimes but it wasn't really me. I become into a rude and mean person only when someone caught my nerves.
My parents look at me like i'm something bad for them while actually i'm way different at school. I will be rude IF someone be rude to me.
Ways.
Ways to make myself calm
1. Stuck in my room
2. Turn on the music
3. Sing
4. Play guitar
5. Shopping alone
6. Laying down one the bed stares at the wall
7. Took a calculator and calculate the money that i had used
8. BLOG
9. Watch Tv alone
10. Draw
11. STUDY ADDMATHS OR MODERN MATHS TILL DAWN.
1. Stuck in my room
2. Turn on the music
3. Sing
4. Play guitar
5. Shopping alone
6. Laying down one the bed stares at the wall
7. Took a calculator and calculate the money that i had used
8. BLOG
9. Watch Tv alone
10. Draw
11. STUDY ADDMATHS OR MODERN MATHS TILL DAWN.
Depression.
Depression haunts me ever since. It never fails. I get pissed so easily.
I get migraine easily. Trauma and phobia. Everything just got into me so quick.
I felt hopeless living in this world. I have no one that can comfort me
or to talk with until i have to face with School Psychiatrist.
People may look like i'm a problematic girl fooling around at school until meeting the School Psychiatrist.
But the fact is, i never faced with any school problems, not even Demerit marks.
Its just my school attendance turn out into SO BAD. like twice a week i turn up to school.
I keep dreaming around, which i find school is super boring . I don't know what's happening to myself.
It's been such a terrible year for me. I feel like living in a hostel surrounded by Stack of books is better for me. More peaceful i guess?
I'm aiming for high achievement for my life to leave everyone behind ..
That will be more peaceful. Like Travelling around the world by myself.
I guess if i'm still in Kota Kinabalu by now, None of these would happen to me .
I would be happier living there hang out with my friends during the weekends.
Which none of that are happening right now.
I get migraine easily. Trauma and phobia. Everything just got into me so quick.
I felt hopeless living in this world. I have no one that can comfort me
or to talk with until i have to face with School Psychiatrist.
People may look like i'm a problematic girl fooling around at school until meeting the School Psychiatrist.
But the fact is, i never faced with any school problems, not even Demerit marks.
Its just my school attendance turn out into SO BAD. like twice a week i turn up to school.
I keep dreaming around, which i find school is super boring . I don't know what's happening to myself.
It's been such a terrible year for me. I feel like living in a hostel surrounded by Stack of books is better for me. More peaceful i guess?
I'm aiming for high achievement for my life to leave everyone behind ..
That will be more peaceful. Like Travelling around the world by myself.
I guess if i'm still in Kota Kinabalu by now, None of these would happen to me .
I would be happier living there hang out with my friends during the weekends.
Which none of that are happening right now.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Sick.
Wasn't feeling well today. Fever and cold. Oh, i get to play a new song today on my guitar " Dont Judge Me " by Chris Brown. Wanted to upload some video of me playing some songs on my six strings but i sound so .. wack. haha. maybe later when i sound better enough.
Planning to buy an Ukulele and Electric Guitar. My room soon will be a music garage. LOL.
Planning to buy an Ukulele and Electric Guitar. My room soon will be a music garage. LOL.
Broke down.
Its been awhile since the last update. My laptop got broke down into an electic shocked. The hard disk wasn't functioning. Gonna get that fix as soon i have enough money. Anyway, today was my last day final examination. FINALLY! plus, i screw up Agama paper just now. i missed out one question. lol. Scratch that, finals done. now i need a proper rest, then there's something i need to catch up. studies, camp and band coming up soon.
OH! i almost forgot. i have 7 members in my family now. hahaha. New family member, Nur Hanis Zahra. My mum just gave birth this morning. More baby sitting for sure. *sigh
3 ADIKS to handle. hehhh. I'm getting older, K.
OH! i almost forgot. i have 7 members in my family now. hahaha. New family member, Nur Hanis Zahra. My mum just gave birth this morning. More baby sitting for sure. *sigh
3 ADIKS to handle. hehhh. I'm getting older, K.
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Senyumanmu ibarat denyut listik yang menggerakkan jantungku.
Biarlah aku hilang segala, selagi dia masih menguntumkan.
Ukiran manis bibir buatku. Dialah Hidupku. Dialah Nyawa.
Sedang aku leka dilamun cinta asmara, sejenak hatiku dikejut dengan pertanyaan.
Adakah aku akan kehilangannya satu hari nanti?
Apakah kesudahan hidupku kelak? Aku tak ingin hidup dalam
kegelapan yang sepi.
Aku ingin bersamamu hinggi ku hembus nafas yang terakhir.
Ingin sekali aku merasa saat bahagia bersamamu.
Aku sangat perlukan kasih sayangmu
untuk aku jadikan semangat perjuangan
meneruskan kehidupan yang penuh dengan kegelapan
aku ingin luahkan dalam rintikan kasih sayangmu
membuat aku bersamamu selamanya.
Biarlah aku hilang segala, selagi dia masih menguntumkan.
Ukiran manis bibir buatku. Dialah Hidupku. Dialah Nyawa.
Sedang aku leka dilamun cinta asmara, sejenak hatiku dikejut dengan pertanyaan.
Adakah aku akan kehilangannya satu hari nanti?
Apakah kesudahan hidupku kelak? Aku tak ingin hidup dalam
kegelapan yang sepi.
Aku ingin bersamamu hinggi ku hembus nafas yang terakhir.
Ingin sekali aku merasa saat bahagia bersamamu.
Aku sangat perlukan kasih sayangmu
untuk aku jadikan semangat perjuangan
meneruskan kehidupan yang penuh dengan kegelapan
aku ingin luahkan dalam rintikan kasih sayangmu
membuat aku bersamamu selamanya.
Band Camp.
Two weeks to go. Ah, please be fast. I miss my little annoying juniors. I keep scolding them but still, i love them. Band is my family. All the events we been through is so remarkable. Training since 8am till 12 midnight, still no regrets. Tiring but that what makes me fit. ahah. muscles ;)
Panic Disorder.
Punch me like i did some big mistake. god damn it, i'm just fucking 16.
I need a space for growing up to be a teenager. I'm not some tool out from the tool box.
Its like i go out every night drink some beer with guys or have sex with them.
The fact is, i don't even go out from this hell house. Even hang out with some friends during the weekends.I got myself a dream that i'm gonna achieve.
so don't accuse me doing something that make me look so bad while i'm not.
Keep knocking my door like i'm deaf. Do you that I had some big trauma & phobia since you get yourself in my room and got me beaten up suddenly. Do you even bother to ask how am i doing at school? NO! What you know is just screaming, shouting, cursing. I'm tired. I arrived home at 4 in the evening every single day, and you keep scolding all over the same thing. Once i'm done with my studies, i promise that i will get out from this world and find myself a peaceful place.
I need a space for growing up to be a teenager. I'm not some tool out from the tool box.
Its like i go out every night drink some beer with guys or have sex with them.
The fact is, i don't even go out from this hell house. Even hang out with some friends during the weekends.I got myself a dream that i'm gonna achieve.
so don't accuse me doing something that make me look so bad while i'm not.
Keep knocking my door like i'm deaf. Do you that I had some big trauma & phobia since you get yourself in my room and got me beaten up suddenly. Do you even bother to ask how am i doing at school? NO! What you know is just screaming, shouting, cursing. I'm tired. I arrived home at 4 in the evening every single day, and you keep scolding all over the same thing. Once i'm done with my studies, i promise that i will get out from this world and find myself a peaceful place.
365 days.
It almost reach 365 days this 29 October. The day i left ..
I can still feel the pain, the tears, the last hug .
I can't cry on that day because i can't believe that it was the day that bring us to the end after what we've been through for almost a year at school. Then on November 7 was our last Monthsary Celebration.
On the 14th you left with someone else already. Only 4 days you took to leave me and walk away with someone else. Me? Even a year i can't find someone else to walk with ..
Its almost 365 days. And those 365 days i cried in pain.
Every night before i sleep, there's tears running through my face.
Every single night for this year.
I have been wasting those tears for nothing.
You're busy in love, i'm too busy crying ..
I can still feel the pain, the tears, the last hug .
I can't cry on that day because i can't believe that it was the day that bring us to the end after what we've been through for almost a year at school. Then on November 7 was our last Monthsary Celebration.
On the 14th you left with someone else already. Only 4 days you took to leave me and walk away with someone else. Me? Even a year i can't find someone else to walk with ..
Its almost 365 days. And those 365 days i cried in pain.
Every night before i sleep, there's tears running through my face.
Every single night for this year.
I have been wasting those tears for nothing.
You're busy in love, i'm too busy crying ..
The Art of Getting By
I watch this movie just now in HBO, The teen guy name George like a girl name Sally and he couldn't find the right words to confess his feelings until his best friend Dustin came to Sally. I cried this part, because it hits me so bad. I can even feel the pain that George felt. Even though it was just a movie .. I feel it poaching my heart with a knife.
Last night.
I slept early last night .. There was a dream about you're there ..
That time i was at the Stadium performing for Marching band. You saw me sitting with a bunch of band girls. I didn't search for you at all until i was about to go back home you came to me and said HI. A few conversation was going on, i can't really remember what the conversation was but the only thing i remember was i asked you to hang with me till night. Then i woke up around 4 or 5am .. I continue back sleeping, then there's another dream came. I was at England and i joined marching band in University of Manchester.
I played Baritone. That feel so real, i can even feel the heaviness of Baritone. I was wearing a red overall and shako. How i wish that dream will come true. Amin.
That time i was at the Stadium performing for Marching band. You saw me sitting with a bunch of band girls. I didn't search for you at all until i was about to go back home you came to me and said HI. A few conversation was going on, i can't really remember what the conversation was but the only thing i remember was i asked you to hang with me till night. Then i woke up around 4 or 5am .. I continue back sleeping, then there's another dream came. I was at England and i joined marching band in University of Manchester.
I played Baritone. That feel so real, i can even feel the heaviness of Baritone. I was wearing a red overall and shako. How i wish that dream will come true. Amin.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
One Day.
Watched this movie 2 days ago, this story is about two best friends fall in love for 20 years.The ending is soooooo sad, you guys should watch :')
plus, the guy is cuteeeee :3
Biology
Had Biology test just now, paper 1, 2, & 3. Alhamdulillah, i manage to answer all.
Hoping for a pass would be enough. I didn't actually study. Really. I did read last night
till midnight, while watching tv. so i'm more into watching tv. hihi.
Tomorrow Physics! i'm so gonna revise everything. Need an A for my physics, AMIN!
Hoping for a pass would be enough. I didn't actually study. Really. I did read last night
till midnight, while watching tv. so i'm more into watching tv. hihi.
Tomorrow Physics! i'm so gonna revise everything. Need an A for my physics, AMIN!
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
WTB.
WTB=WHAT TO BUY
Need a new pair of FlipFlops sandals. since my FlipFlops is kinda torn a bit because of my neighbour's cats love my sandals soo much. haha.
New pants! looking forward on maroon colour pants.
New shorts at RadioActive would be nice.
New Ripcurl's swimming suit since i lost one. ._.
and
Strategy books. hikhik.
Need a new pair of FlipFlops sandals. since my FlipFlops is kinda torn a bit because of my neighbour's cats love my sandals soo much. haha.
New pants! looking forward on maroon colour pants.
New shorts at RadioActive would be nice.
New Ripcurl's swimming suit since i lost one. ._.
and
Strategy books. hikhik.
Holidays
I'm looking forward for this holidays. Gah, can't wait!
I might going back to Penang alone during upcoming Raya Haji.
Then, will be going for band camp for a week at the hostel on November.
I don't think there'll be any holiday trip this year, most probably because of my newborn
sister. They're planning on going to Singapore this year since its just a few kilometres
away from Pahang. But depends on the condition of the newborn baby. Abah also plan for euro trip again but i guess it's gonna be after i done taking spm? :/
So i guess this holiday i'll be dating with books just to cover all my form4 chapters before 2013 and go to tuitions -,-'
There's so many things that i'm looking forward this holidays. We shall wait and see for any changes :)
I might going back to Penang alone during upcoming Raya Haji.
Then, will be going for band camp for a week at the hostel on November.
I don't think there'll be any holiday trip this year, most probably because of my newborn
sister. They're planning on going to Singapore this year since its just a few kilometres
away from Pahang. But depends on the condition of the newborn baby. Abah also plan for euro trip again but i guess it's gonna be after i done taking spm? :/
So i guess this holiday i'll be dating with books just to cover all my form4 chapters before 2013 and go to tuitions -,-'
There's so many things that i'm looking forward this holidays. We shall wait and see for any changes :)
Today
i sat for Additional Maths paper 1 just now, it was speechless .. as usual. Tomorrow even much worser, BIOLOGY. i hate that subject. Planning to drop that subject and take Engineering Arts or Arts. Well, i didn't actually failed my Biology in my August test, its just i have no interest in reading Biology. I hate reading but love NUMBERS. Except for Addmaths, i love it but i just don't know the point of doing it. I'm aiming for my Physics paper this Friday. Hope that subject will bring those colours in my result slip. hopefully, amin.
Since i sat for Addmaths paper just now, i had a free time which suppose to study Biology for tomorrow's test. But i end up doing Physics Peka with Thinusha, Sharveen and Oliver at the back of the class. We laughed the whole day and we also had a serious talk about our Future and Ambitions. Miss Susie our physics teacher sat with us and talk about career.
She actually convince us that spm was'nt that hard. Spm is the only chance for me to fly and leave this country just to achieve my dreams. InsyaAllah.I had fun talking to Miss Susie and i'll definitely miss her because she'll be leaving to Perak. :c
Before went back home, Sharveen and i went Oldtown for lunch.
Since i sat for Addmaths paper just now, i had a free time which suppose to study Biology for tomorrow's test. But i end up doing Physics Peka with Thinusha, Sharveen and Oliver at the back of the class. We laughed the whole day and we also had a serious talk about our Future and Ambitions. Miss Susie our physics teacher sat with us and talk about career.
She actually convince us that spm was'nt that hard. Spm is the only chance for me to fly and leave this country just to achieve my dreams. InsyaAllah.I had fun talking to Miss Susie and i'll definitely miss her because she'll be leaving to Perak. :c
Before went back home, Sharveen and i went Oldtown for lunch.
New Addiction
Meet miss Melanie Martinez :)
from the voice. The way she sang ''lights'' during the battle, it really touches me.
Since that day till now, i can't stop listening to her songs.
plus, she's kinda cute even though she has a two gap tooth :D
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Sixteen
I bet at this age, people starts to hang out day & night but sadly i'm not.
This year seems to be so dull to me .. I rarely go anywhere.
I spend most of my time in my room even though there's nothing special in
my room. lol. Things that i do to make me feel happy is play guitar, watch
EllenDeGeneres, go for band practice during the weekends and many more.
That's what i most probably do, to kill my time.
Watching people hangout with their best buddies go for movie makes me kinda
jealous. But i guess it's not my time to party this year, probably next year after spm.
That would be more fun :)
Talking about watching movies at the cinema, i only watch twice this year. haha.
Which i watch ALONE. Who cares what people say about me watching movies at cinema alone, at least i did watch then never. right?
This year seems to be so dull to me .. I rarely go anywhere.
I spend most of my time in my room even though there's nothing special in
my room. lol. Things that i do to make me feel happy is play guitar, watch
EllenDeGeneres, go for band practice during the weekends and many more.
That's what i most probably do, to kill my time.
Watching people hangout with their best buddies go for movie makes me kinda
jealous. But i guess it's not my time to party this year, probably next year after spm.
That would be more fun :)
Talking about watching movies at the cinema, i only watch twice this year. haha.
Which i watch ALONE. Who cares what people say about me watching movies at cinema alone, at least i did watch then never. right?
Tick tock.
I cant find the right words to express myself here. My english wasnt that good, so dont mind if i write in BM too.There's too much to say and express but i just dont know where to start.
2012 is about to end soon, well for school life. I'm going to be a SPM candidate next year. I'm not ready for any of it but i'm gonna try my best to achieve my dream.
This year had been a rough year for me, struggling with the studies, trying to fit in with new surroundings, emotional break downs and more ..
Been living all by myself this year, without any supports. That's what makes me even
harder to live every single day. Giving up is always an option for me, but still i'm
standing. There's nothing i can do to stop all this, if i could, i definitely would.
Or even if there's a time machine i might be already living in the past, not now.
2012 is about to end soon, well for school life. I'm going to be a SPM candidate next year. I'm not ready for any of it but i'm gonna try my best to achieve my dream.
This year had been a rough year for me, struggling with the studies, trying to fit in with new surroundings, emotional break downs and more ..
Been living all by myself this year, without any supports. That's what makes me even
harder to live every single day. Giving up is always an option for me, but still i'm
standing. There's nothing i can do to stop all this, if i could, i definitely would.
Or even if there's a time machine i might be already living in the past, not now.
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